We live in a highly sexualized culture and sexually charged world. Now-a-ways movies, music, TV shows, the fashion and entertainment industry have become more filled with sexual images and jokes. People are so enthralled by this idea of love and intimacy and sex, that society has normalized dating culture as it relates to pre-marital sex. In our society, the enemy makes us believe that sexual sin is normal. The devil sells us the benefit of sexual sin by camouflaging it as fun, fulfilling, empowering, and exciting. But the reality is that when sex is not used in the way it was intended, it opens the door for destruction in our lives and relationships.
Don’t get me wrong sex itself is not inherently bad. Sex was God’s idea; sex was given to us as a gift. It is by sin that sex has been taken outside of the context it was originally intended for. God gave us things like sex, food, clothes, family, and friends to enjoy them, while glorifying Him. It is our sinful hearts that have distorted them into idols and used them for things that God never intended.
Many people outside the Christian faith see celibacy and purity as a bunch of rule keeping, and many of people inside of the church walls unfortunately see it that way as well. But as believers we aren’t just commanded to pursue purity until marriage for our good, but we are promised purity through Christ. Sadly, the church often shy’s away from the topic of sex and celibacy. But as believers, we are called to walk and speak in love and truth, and if the church doesn’t begin to define sex, then the culture, reality TV, and the rest of the world will.
Truth #1: Sex was created to be enjoyed in the covenant of marriage. Genesis 2:24 says, “For this very reason man will leave his mother and father and unite with Christ and become one flesh.” This verse is not just metaphorically speaking about becoming one flesh, it is also talking about physically becoming one flesh. When the Bible talks about man and a woman joining to become one flesh, it is talking about joining physically through sex, joining emotionally through intimacy, and joining spiritually through covenant. Sex is a physical, emotional, and psychological exchange. During sex you are literally giving yourself away. When you lay with a man or a woman who does not belong to you, you are essentially physically binding yourself to that person. This is why pre-marital sex can lead to unhealthy soul ties and attachments. Sex was created to create a tight bond between a man and a woman in marriage, it becomes destructive when you’re essentially binding yourself to several different men or women that you don’t belong to. God did not create you to become one-flesh with several different people. He made one man and one woman to become one flesh. Every time you have sex with someone who is not your spouse, you are borrowing their body for a period to time to satisfy your sexual desires only to leave both parties alone once finished. After those desires are fulfilled, you are required to detach from them and go home. The world calls this “the walk of shame”. You’ve essentially given your body to someone who was not in covenant with you, someone who did not belong to you. Sex loses its power and magic when it’s done outside of the context it was originally created. It becomes a pacifier for the real thing, as it only temporarily appeases your sexual desires. Pre-marital sex violates God’s design in an effort to lay hold temporary pleasures. Essentially sex before marriage makes a mockery of God’s will and elevates our human desires over God’s wisdom.
Truth #2: What you do with your body matters. 1 Corinthians 6:19 and 20 says, “Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit… You are not your own… For you were bought with a price; Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” This verse is proof that our bodies don’t belong to us. Our bodies belong to God. You are not your own. Yes, God created us as sexual beings, but He also created us to glorify Him. Sex actually glorifies God, when it’s done within the context He created it. Dear one’s if you desire for God to sit on the throne in your life, He will not just be God in your finances and in your goals or ambitions, but He will also be God in your sex life. I don’t have to look at your church attendance to know if you love Jesus, I should be able to look at what you do with our body and know that you love Jesus too. God wants us to make room for Him to permeate every area of our life, even the areas that are uncomfortable for us. You’ve gotta let God into the areas you’ve been keeping him out of, and sometimes that means surrendering your sexual demands to Him for the sake of the promise, which is purity!
Truth #3: The enemy wants to destroy anything that is pure. Sex was invented by God, and because God created it, it is good. Anything God creates is good, and God created sex, especially, to be good. But the enemy will come to destroy and pervert whatever God created to be good! So when the enemy deceives the world, and the world takes sex out of context it breeds destruction. When I was a little girl my earthly father would warn and urge me, not to cross the street without looking both ways. Since my father loves me and is wiser than me, he “commanded” me to look both ways before I crossed the street. Not because he wanted to give me a bunch of rules, but because he knew what could happen if I didn’t look both ways! If I was obedient to what my father said, I was promised life, but if I was not, it would end in my detriment (getting hurt badly, paralysis, or even death). This is much like our spiritual Father, God. He gives us free will, however, he urges us to be obedient to his Word. In this case, he urges us to stay away from pre-marital sex because He knows that sex that is not within the safer bounds of marriage will eventually lead to destruction, like rape, STD’s, abortions, unhealthy soul ties, single parent households, fatherless children, etc. But sex within the covenant of marriage will be a gift, and lead to a life of sexual pleasure and freedom. Pre-marital sex is the type of sin that always over promises and under-delivers. It’s like a vicious cycle and it won’t stop until you decide to wait on God.
If you’re like us, and you have struggled with sexual sin, you don’t have to be ashamed or hide from your past. You do not have to walk in shame. God cannot bless what you pretend to be God can only meet you where you really are. You are not identified by your mistakes. Romans 3:23 says, “For we have all have fallen short of the glory of God.” We have all fallen short, but thankfully His love covers a multitude of sins. You do not have to be a slave to the bondage of shame, but you can run in freedom through Jesus Christ by repentance and beginning again.
I didn’t write this to condemn or bring judgment, I wrote this to remind you ladies, that you are already loved unconditionally by an amazing God, and your purity is important to Him. One day, he will put a portion of that love for you into the heart of a man. Just like Christ pursued the church, this man will pursue your heart with Godliness and intention, while protecting and guarding your purity, and when the time is right, he will be able to fulfill your sexual desires. Trust in what is promised to you. God is not a God, who will lie. So. Don’t settle. Wait on God. No one who waits for Him shall be put to shame.
Xoxo,
Tori