1. Tell us about yourself! What’s your story? How have you been empowered through self love and body image?
Well hello! My name is Chlo’e Rickett-Gay and I am a makeup artist and an aspiring fashion designer and wardrobe stylist. I have struggled with body image my entire life. I’m from St. Louis, Missouri and I went to a private catholic school from grades 1-12. For my first 6 years of private schooling I was bullied for my height, size, and hair. It wasn’t so much about my physical weight as much as it was about my height, or my forehead, or the fact that I peaked early and had boobs by 5th grade. Yes girl, I got bullied for simply ✨growing up✨ and I couldn’t retaliate to the bullying because if I did, you know what happened? I got sent to anger management classes and asked to play with play dough to deal with my feelings 🙄.
Back then I really felt out of place and alone and even a little depressed. I found myself constantly trying to “fix myself” and fit in. Straighten your hair, wear cool shoes, wear certain brands, listen to certain music, make sure to stay on certain peoples “good side”. Chileee the ghetto, anywaysss looking back on it now I can say that I am happy…no thankful that I went through that growing up because it helped create the mold for the strong, unapologetically creative, ambitious, intelligent, kind and loving young woman I am today.
As I got older I realized that it didn’t matter what those kids said to me or what they thought about me. If I love me for me and love being me then that’s all I need! Living in these mid-20- somethings now I feel more empowered than ever about the things I used to get bullied about. You’re talking to a girl with a big forehead who cuts her hair off consistently, a tall girl who LOVES heels and struts in them religiously, and a plus size girl who wears whatever she wants to wear, unapologetically 🥰
2. What are your thoughts on body inclusivity in the fashion industry? Do you feel like the “plus size” sections of stores is a form of body oppression? Why or why not?
I feel like the fashion industry has become much more inclusive when it comes to the plus size community for both men and women’s apparel. I remember back in the day (ooo I sound old 😂) there used to be very little variety from stores I shopped in and now I feel much more comfortable shopping both in store and online. Now-a-days I feel like I am always able to find what I’m looking for or at least something very similar.
What I will say is when it comes to certain brands and certain styles of clothing, I feel like they start being a little exclusive depending on what the product is. (For example: there will be crop tops in the juniors or ladies section but not in the plus size section).
However, I don’t really see it as being a sign of body oppression, if anything I’m just happy that they have plus sizes in their store.
3. Let’s face it, we live in a society where impossible beauty standards, and silicone bodies are praised. What is your advice for women trying to gain confidence in their own body and embrace their curves?
Just that, EMBRACE IT! You cannot let unrealistic beauty standards keep you from being your best and beautiful self! I still struggle with this myself so I completely understand that this is NOT an easy thing to do. You just have to remember that the majority of the people we meet sadly, could be/are TEMPORARY but your relationship with yourself is FOREVER! ❤️ You gotta learn to love you for you and know that that is enough!
4. Your clothes are all so cute! Where do you get most of your clothes? What are some affordable, trendy stores for curvy women (physical stores and online)?
Well first, thank you! And I shop literally any and everywhere 😂 and I am a bargain shopper okaaay? I LIVE for a good sale and I hardly EVER buy anything full price 😅 but my #1 go to’s are: Shein.com, Amazon (birthday outfits from the last two years came from here lol), rainbow, H&M, Walmart, Burlington, Ross, Forever 21, and JC Penney’s)
5. What is your advice for curvy women who are on a fitness journey, but are deeply frustrated because they aren’t seeing the results they want? Or women who have an unhealthy relationship with food (i.e. viewing food as an enemy, feeling like they don’t deserve to eat, etc.) due to their desire to lose weight?
I just started my fitness journey again in November of 2020 and so far I’ve stayed pretty consistent. I go 5x a week right after work because my gym is about 2 minutes away. Now I am focusing on healthier eating so when I go grocery shopping I pick up healthier options, less processed foods, and healthy-ish snack options lol.
I feel like you won’t get the results you want until you fully commit to yourself and YOUR process. You have to understand that this is for YOU and your process is YOUR process and not anyone else’s. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need guidance or assistance, do your research, and don’t worry about if someone is watching you at the gym, sis, get that workout in!
6. Plastic surgery is becoming more common and popular now-a-days. Why do you think that is? Do you think women receiving surgery on their bodies is a result of internalized self hate, why or why not?
If that’s what you feel like you need to do to love yourself, then do it! If you have an underlying health issue and surgery will help, then do it! Feeling like spoiling yourself with a bbl (Brazilian butt lift)? Then do it! I’m not a fan of plastic surgery, but I cannot speak on other people’s reasons for receiving or wanting surgery. My advice is, just to try not to lose yourself in the process.
7. How do you go about navigating insensitive or unsolicited comments about weight or “fat jokes” from acquaintances, friends/ family, or men you’re dating (i.e. “maybe you should workout more”, “try eating healthier”, “I see you’ve lost weight”, etc.)
I brush ’em off and if it’s a man I’m dating, I’ll dump him, lol. I had to learn to love me at every stage of my weight (currently sitting at my heaviest and I’m STILL serving lewwwkssss, honey, okay?) And if a man doesn’t see how I love on me and reciprocate it accordingly, then he can leave me alone, lol. I’ve become more blunt and straightforward as I’ve gotten older, so if I feel like something is off, I’ll address it. This goes for friends and family too. Because even though I am plus size, people always say things like, “You don’t even look like you weigh ___!” or “You carry it so well”! And while I somewhat appreciate the back handed comments, it still doesn’t change the fact that I am a plus size woman and I do weigh this amount and I’m beautiful anyway! I simply wear what I want or what I feel is flattering on me and I just don’t care how that makes anyone else feel.
8. What are your thoughts about those who refuse to support the body positive movement because, in their minds, it “promotes obesity” or “an unhealthy lifestyle”?
I personally think that that’s their prerogative. For every one person who doesn’t support body positivity, there’s 10 more that do. And even though part of that has to do with people fetishizing plus sized men and women, there are actual allies or people who feel the same way I feel. LIVE YOUR LIFE, and make sure you love every minute of it. Listen to family or friends if they are only trying to help, especially if you know it’s coming from a genuine place. But also remind them, baby, some of use were born “big boned” meaning we were never meant to be the size you THINK we should be 🙄.
9. Have you ever faced mental health challenges due to your body image? If so, please elaborate. How has your past or present body image negatively or positively impacted your mental health (i.e. depression, anxiety, eating disorders, etc.)?
Depression and anxiety are still my worst enemies and it’s an ongoing battle everyday. Sometimes I get discouraged being on social media or even being out with my friends because I’m always the largest one out of the group. I am constantly reminding myself I am enough, I am worth it, I am beautiful, and I am capable of love and being loved.
I get into a dark place sometimes especially when it comes to romance and relationships. I will temporarily convince myself that I won’t receive the love I desire because I’m a bigger girl, I don’t have long hair, my booty isn’t big enough, I’m not that pretty in the face, or whatever other negative thoughts run through my mind. Sometimes I forget that I give myself that love I crave ALL the time. But once you realize you are your own priority and you speak that love into yourself it all becomes clear. I have to remember who I am and to accurately quote Lizzo when she said, “I’m 100% THAT BITCH”. No matter the size, length of hair, hyperpigmentation or acne scar, I am wonderfully and beautifully made and no one can take that from me ever, not even me! 😂
10. What is your advice for women who are or have experienced a deep shame about their weight, stretch marks, or natural bodies due to bullying in middle or high school? What is your advice to heal from old wounds and gain body confidence?
You cannot let other people tear you down. Look back on those times when you were at your lowest and then look where you are now. It might not be where you want to be, BUT you made it out of that storm and you prevailed and progressed, and you will continue to do so! You have to believe in you and you have to learn to love YOU at every stage, weight, and season. Nobody can do that but you.