In 2017, I attended the Pinky Promise conference with two amazing spiritual leaders, Heather Lindsey and Sarah Jakes Roberts. After a few days of listening to Godly instruction from them, they planted a seed in me that caused something in my spirit to shift. After returning home from the conference, the Lord revealed my assignment. This new revelation first evoked fear and unrest. But after those feelings began to dissolve and settle, my excitement kicked in. As time went on, I began to make an idol out of my purpose. Yes – I admit it. Pursuing the woman who God told me I would eventually become and what I would eventually do became more attractive to me than God Himself. I’m sure you’ve noticed by now, I’m a dreamer. I fantasized about future psychologist me. I fantasized about future ceiling- shattering Christian woman me. I fantasized about future author and public speaker me. I fantasized about my future life so much that I began to take my current season with a grain of salt. Nothing was important as the future life I was told would eventually be mine. So, I began to become discontent in my current season, because I knew the “real me” hadn’t arrived yet. My Future power-house me was still struggling with the spirit of fear and timidy and future psychologist me was still stressing about grad school applications. I knew I was only 20% of who I’d eventually become. But this new insight became a burden that began to distract me in worship rather than a motivator.
Even knowing this – I continued to struggled with the impulsive fantasies. Until one night, in my quiet time, the Holy Spirit interrupted my fantasy and asked, “What if your future life never arrives?”
Look. I don’t typically run from confrontation, but when it comes from the Lord it’s a different story. His confrontation means, He ain’t playin’, and I need to get it together quickly.
He told me my fantasies were becoming a distraction, and he cares so about our relationship that He’s willing to sacrifice anything that comes in between. I know these are promises He has for me, but if I don’t submit them to His timing, I’ll miss the beauty of what He’s doing in my life each day, and missing that would be miserable! God’s question was a loving, wake-up call masked as a threat to remind me to stay focused on what truly matters (our relationship now) and being content with the timing of my journey.
So, no, I’m not a psychologist yet, I haven’t published any books and I definitely haven’t shattered any glass ceilings (spiritually or physically) – but, I’m learning to enjoy this current season which includes working as a psychometrist, a lot of growing pains, and prayer.
So if you struggle with submitting to God’s timing. Remember: if you’re constantly lusting over your next season, you miss the beauty of your current season. And if you consistently live life waiting for the next moment, you forget to embrace the people, places, and opportunities He has in front of you now. Some seasons may seem more beautiful than the next, but each season has its own share of tests and trials. In Corinthians Paul says learn to be content in every circumstance. When you master this, no matter the circumstances each season brings, you will be content and truly have peace. Don’t get distracted from your current season by the beautiful promises of your future. Treat every single day as a gift, and the beauty of the next of the next day will come, and the beauty of the next season will eventually arrive.
Xoxo,
Tori